[Libre-soc-dev] i need help with the libre-soc-vlsi devroom

[lkcl]

this is a delicate matter that has me at risk of death
and i need it taken seriously.

i need some help with the libre-soc-vlsi devroom
from experienced people who have run FOSDEM rooms.
if you can help to run it please reply here so you can
be added to the devroom list.

that is the short version, for those people who are busy,
you can stop reading here.

-----

now the long version, which even just considering what i
have to write, i am literally shaking in fear, terrified at the
possible consequences after multiple seizures over the
past year, and collapsing and being left on the floor
several times for the past seven, by an abusive narcissistic
ex-partner.

i have always had asperger's, and have 47 years hard-wiring
of my neural structure to deal with ASCII text and debugging,
compensating for memory recall and learning difficulties
by strict adherence to bugtracker and other project procedures
that (bottom line, frankly) piss people off at how strictly i have to
follow them out of absolute sheer necessity.

christ i can't quite believe how upset i am and how much
i'm shaking just writing this.

a year ago i had my throat collapse and was unable to
breathe after several hours of extremely distressing
conversation being completely ignored by my ex-partner.
she thought i was "faking it".  it turns out that finally after
the *third* visit in 3 weeks to Southampton Accident and
Emergency they finally did an X-Ray and found evidence
of pneumonia. it's more complicated than that as there
is barometic pressure effects on damaged sinuses from
failed root canal treatment.

basically it goes, "if upset => start crying => catarrh =>
constricted throat => can't breathe => death" and i am
so terrified because this has routinely happened over ten
times in the past year that the fear itself becomes a
contributing factor.

i have had people completely ignore this, who did not
take it seriously (one of those people was deeply shockingly
abusive in their response), not being willing to listen or
ask questions, which for someone with Asperger's (memory
problems, communication difficulties) is basically and
fundamentally abuse and harrassment.

if that wasn't bad enough, in one of the incidents before
i left my abusive ex-partner, in one particularly distressing
incident i shouted and then felt something burst, just above
where my sinuses are damaged from a failed root canal,
dropped to the floor in convulsions, and for two weeks after
was unable to speak except by "moaning", like you see people
with some serious, serious disabilities.

i therefore now have not only difficulty in written communication
(this message is partly prepared / planned, for several days),
i also have a severe speech impediment: Tourettes, stammer,
extremely slow speaking, slurring of my voice, and i frequently
go into convulsions, seizures, in shops or on two occasions,
inside Southampton Police station when making Crime Reports.
i have PTSD, Dissociative Disorder, the list just goes on and on.

recently i put in a report to FOSDEM Conduct Team
regarding harrassment by RED Semiconductor Ltd Directors.
i will not go into full detail but i was extremely anxious, angry
and shaking when i finally received a response FIVE DAYS
later after having to send reminders.  the response basically
(summarised) "we haven't listened to a word you've said,
we are going to treat you like an object, not a person, by
discussing you behind your back without asking questions,
and ultimately we're going to prioritise the ABUSIVE INDIVIDUALS
over your needs basically because we don't believe you,
and we're too busy to be interested in protecting you".

this is after explaining that i have severe communication
difficulties and am at risk of death from harrassment of
myself and my team.

if you are shocked by that then i have gotten through to
everyone that this is by far and above the worst and most
dangerous treatment i've ever heard of, let alone experienced,
by any Conduct Team in over 25 years of being involved with
FOSS.

but that's not the top priority (for me).

the top priority for me is that RED Semiconductor Ltd's
Directors have, by being abusive and not listening, removed
me from the Board of Directors despite being a majority
shareholder, have withdrawn resources that severely compromise
Libre-SOC's ability to fulfil its EU Grant funded work, and
as a result violated the Libre-SOC Charter which *as a company*
they have not agreed to because it was only through me in
my dual capacity as Founder and former Director of RED,
combined with Founder and Team Lead of Libre-SOC, that they
had two-way access to Libre-SOC resources.

with James Lewis (CEO) instructing employees to focus exclusively
on RED Semiconductor interests, to the detriment of Libre-SOC
research and grant funded work, it is abundantly clear that
RED Semiconductor Ltd intends to use FOSDEM as a means and
method of recruiting people who would otherwise be interested
in working on FOSS and on Libre-SOC work, where for the past
5 years we have had extreme difficulty finding anyone, because the
level of technical difficulty is so high that anyone with the right
skillset can earn 5 to 8 times more money than is available from
NLnet EU Grant funding.  typical rates for "good" engineers are
around EUR 100-125 an hour, and we can only afford around
EUR 15-25.

we also have a harrassment issue to deal with, which caused
one member of the team to leave, disrupting the devroom as he
had *two* talks to give.  in addition i was so terrified of the
consequences (death) due to harrassment that i could in no
way attend if RED Semiconductor Ltd Directors and Employees
were also there, which is why i requested FOSDEM Conduct's
help, as *my* talk cannot be given if i am not there because i
am, understandably, terrified of the risk of death.

bottom line that's almost *50%* of the talks out due alone to the
harrassment by David Calderwood, Chairman of RED Semiconductor
Ltd, which i reported and asked help for from FOSDEM Conduct
*eight days ago*.

i had requested, eight days ago, after coming out of shock
two weeks back (it was 50-50 whether i went to A&E after
an abusive conference call of RED Directors and Employees,
but i managed to keep my throat from constricting), that RED
Agents be removed from the devroom so that i could *safely*
remove their talks, given the severe harrassment and blatant
violation of the Libre-SOC Charter.

i feel... completely violated, humiliated, extremely angry and
fearful of the consequences that i now have to ask *publicly*
for help from other devroom managers, knowing full well that
these dangerously-abusive individuals will see this message,
when i *specifically requested* FOSDEM Conduct Team for
immediate help due to the time-sensitive deadline coming up.

so we have two issues to resolve:

1) removing RED Semiconductor Ltd talks from the Libre-SOC
    devroom due to serious life-threatening harrassment
    (and almost as an afterthought: Libre-SOC Charter Violations,
    which NLnet are aware of and helping with)

2) given that RED Semiconductor Ltd is clearly attending for the
    sole purpose of recruitment and self-promotion, and given the
    harrassment and unresolved non-compliance with the Libre-SOC
    Charter it is quite clearly inappropriate for them to go anywhere
    near the devroom (or even attend FOSDEM at all), as they
    will deprive the Libre-SOC Project of even more critical
    resources than they already have.

i've removed their talks and will be working with my team to
extend the other talks (they were quite compressed - 10 to 20
minutes) to cover the available time, but i *NEED HELP*
protecting myself and my team from further harrassment.
the absolute last thing i need is for RED Semiconductor
Ltd - whose Employees and Directors are *NOT* members of
Libre-SOC - to attempt to start reinstating their talks.
the distress that this would cause me - i am terrified enough
as it is and i can feel that my hands are clammy and i am
beginning to go into Dissociative Shock now - would be
immense, and could trigger further seizures and collapse.

i haven't even been able to complete my talk even as an online
presentation, due to being in such distress at having an
extremely useful and wonderful RED employee to help me
taken away by RED's CEO, James Lewis, as well as having
to deal with life-threatening emergencies in the face of repeated
mis-diagnosis or "procedural" dismissal by Southampton A&E,
as well as dealing with living in woods on a campsite in an
inadequately-heated van when i have pneumonia.

i trust i've made it really brutally clear quite how serious this is.
it's recoverable - but i need HELP in covering the devroom,
particularly to keep RED Directors and Employees away from
it, and to call the Belgian Police immediately if they refuse.
hence the reason for asking for experienced devroom managers.

i appreciate this is a lot, but it should not in any way have been
necessary: that's on the failure of the FOSDEM Conduct Team,
whose shocking lack of empathy, inadequate response time
and fear-inducing response has forced me to have to write this
publicly, demeaning and severely risky as it is for my life.

l.